So things are humming along pretty well for us here in Shanghai as we close in on the one year mark. We have gotten used to a lot of the things that are different here, but it is an ongoing process and there are always new issues cropping up.
This morning, Russ was out running along the canal near our house when he got hit from behind by a guy on a motor scooter. He's okay, but pretty scraped up. This is not the first time he's been clipped (I think once he got hit by a pig carcass that was slung along the back of a bicycle), but this time was much worse - lots of road rash and a big bruise on his ankle where his sock actually got caught in the guy's wheel. The Chinses do have a tendency to drive close, both in cars and on two-wheeled vehicles, and sometimes it seems like there are no discernible road rules (they think it is perfectly acceptable to run a red light as long as they blare their horn on the way through).
But to hit a pedestrian like that, you have to wonder: what the hell? Russ thinks the guy was asleep because he looked kind of out of it. I totally believe that could be the case. I've seen passengers on the back of a bicycle, perched on a little cargo rack and leaning on the person pedaling, completely zonked out. On more that one occasion I've caught my own driver nodding off at the wheel. I don't know why this sleeping and driving/riding seems to be such an epidemic here - I'll do some investigating and get back to you.
So anyway, Russ says the guy just scooped up his stuff that spilled during the accident and took off. I'm sure he wanted to avoid any police, but he didn't get away without Russ yelling at him and another witness chasing after him.
Poor Russ was also the victim in my next story. He has a subscription to The Economist news magazine and last week's issue arrived a couple days late and was sealed in a different envelope than usual. When he opened it up, he immediately noticed there was a page ripped out. He looked at the table of contents and discovered that the missing page an article on the anniversary of the Tianamen Square incident in 1989. It was one of those moments when all of a sudden, something that only happens far away to somebody else is now happening to you. A little eerie.
[Post script note: I wrote this blog on June 10th, but was unable to post it until now because China was also blocking my blogging website as part of this crackdown. As far as I know it is still blocked - I'm writing this from the US while I'm here for a home visit.]
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Friday, April 24, 2009
There is no Target in China
I'm sure I've mentioned my grocery shopping woes before, so here's an update on how it's going:
I expected as a newly arrived expat to have to spend some time checking out different stores in a quest to find all our usual staples, and although that quest never truly ends, I'm now at a point where I've pretty much figured out what I can get, and resigned myself to what I can't. It's not too bad - it is possible to get a pretty big variety of western products here. The problem is that you can't always get what you want, when you want it. So you can't get too attached to a particular item, because it can disappear without any warning and you never know when (or if) it will be back.
It can be frustrating sometimes, especially since I am so health conscious and do a lot of home cooking. In fact, at times I feel downright discriminated against since I've noticed that there are always Pop-Tarts on the shelves, yet sometimes I search in vain for weeks to find a can of plain diced tomatoes. So I've learned that when I do find a good product that I like, buy lots and lots of it and hoard it away like a paranoid doomsayer stocking the bomb shelter.
And this applies not just to western imports, but to stuff you can find in with the regular Chinese groceries as well. Of course, there is always tons of rice and noodles and good produce. But there are some items which I would consider a necessity but I guess they are more "luxury" items to the Chinese. For example, I am currently out of dishwasher detergent because it has not been on the shelf in Carrefour for the past month or so. Apparently, not many Chinese homes have dishwashers. I probably shouldn't be surprised in a country that still sells a lot of bar laundry soap (the kind you use to hand scrub your clothes in a wash basin - or a river). Paper towels is another good example, but I'm thinking they must be imported also since anything disposable here is generally not very sturdy. Their table napkins are basically like large segments of toilet paper.
In the beginning I did try several Chinese products because I didn't like the idea of being so dependent on imports. They are so expensive, especially when you have to get them at a specialty store. But with a few exceptions, I pretty much gave up, at least with food. With health and beauty products you really have to shop local. This is a challenge first and foremost because of the labeling. In a lot of cases the only English word on the bottle is the brand name. The only way I could tell which hair product was conditioner instead of shampoo was the opening on the bottom of the bottle (like in the States). At least I hope it's conditioner - never mind whether it's for dry or oily or permed or colored hair. The bottles of skin lotion have a little more of an English description, but then I have the problem of finding a brand without a "whitening" formula (kind of ironic after all those years of trying to get a decent tan). But so far, we've managed.
So when people ask me what I miss from home, it's really hard to say because there are very few things that you NEVER see. I just keep prowling the stores to see what new shipments may have arrived each week. I still get a little buzz of anticipation every time I walk into the American shops, wondering what I might find - even the boys like to shop there. You should have seen how excited we got the day we found Triscuts and Thomas's English Muffins! I've learned you have to try and contain yourself or else you can really get carried away. More than once I've had a box of something in my hand and had to say to myself "I wouldn't buy Cheez-Its at home, why am I buying them here?" Something about the familiarity of the product, that tangible connection to home, the nostalgia even, overrides any sense of moderation.
What's getting me through right now is the fact that it's less than two months til we'll be back in the States for our home visit and, believe me, I will be stocking up again - I'm just not sure on what. To all of you back home: put in your requests now if anyone who would like some Chinese products - dried duck tongues, jellyfish, maybe some whitening skin cream?
I expected as a newly arrived expat to have to spend some time checking out different stores in a quest to find all our usual staples, and although that quest never truly ends, I'm now at a point where I've pretty much figured out what I can get, and resigned myself to what I can't. It's not too bad - it is possible to get a pretty big variety of western products here. The problem is that you can't always get what you want, when you want it. So you can't get too attached to a particular item, because it can disappear without any warning and you never know when (or if) it will be back.
It can be frustrating sometimes, especially since I am so health conscious and do a lot of home cooking. In fact, at times I feel downright discriminated against since I've noticed that there are always Pop-Tarts on the shelves, yet sometimes I search in vain for weeks to find a can of plain diced tomatoes. So I've learned that when I do find a good product that I like, buy lots and lots of it and hoard it away like a paranoid doomsayer stocking the bomb shelter.
And this applies not just to western imports, but to stuff you can find in with the regular Chinese groceries as well. Of course, there is always tons of rice and noodles and good produce. But there are some items which I would consider a necessity but I guess they are more "luxury" items to the Chinese. For example, I am currently out of dishwasher detergent because it has not been on the shelf in Carrefour for the past month or so. Apparently, not many Chinese homes have dishwashers. I probably shouldn't be surprised in a country that still sells a lot of bar laundry soap (the kind you use to hand scrub your clothes in a wash basin - or a river). Paper towels is another good example, but I'm thinking they must be imported also since anything disposable here is generally not very sturdy. Their table napkins are basically like large segments of toilet paper.
In the beginning I did try several Chinese products because I didn't like the idea of being so dependent on imports. They are so expensive, especially when you have to get them at a specialty store. But with a few exceptions, I pretty much gave up, at least with food. With health and beauty products you really have to shop local. This is a challenge first and foremost because of the labeling. In a lot of cases the only English word on the bottle is the brand name. The only way I could tell which hair product was conditioner instead of shampoo was the opening on the bottom of the bottle (like in the States). At least I hope it's conditioner - never mind whether it's for dry or oily or permed or colored hair. The bottles of skin lotion have a little more of an English description, but then I have the problem of finding a brand without a "whitening" formula (kind of ironic after all those years of trying to get a decent tan). But so far, we've managed.
So when people ask me what I miss from home, it's really hard to say because there are very few things that you NEVER see. I just keep prowling the stores to see what new shipments may have arrived each week. I still get a little buzz of anticipation every time I walk into the American shops, wondering what I might find - even the boys like to shop there. You should have seen how excited we got the day we found Triscuts and Thomas's English Muffins! I've learned you have to try and contain yourself or else you can really get carried away. More than once I've had a box of something in my hand and had to say to myself "I wouldn't buy Cheez-Its at home, why am I buying them here?" Something about the familiarity of the product, that tangible connection to home, the nostalgia even, overrides any sense of moderation.
What's getting me through right now is the fact that it's less than two months til we'll be back in the States for our home visit and, believe me, I will be stocking up again - I'm just not sure on what. To all of you back home: put in your requests now if anyone who would like some Chinese products - dried duck tongues, jellyfish, maybe some whitening skin cream?
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
It's still Shanghai, only better!
Well, it’s been a very busy month. We received six weeks notice to vacate our house because a new developer is coming in and renovating the neighborhood where we have been living for the past 8 months. It was a real bummer because we really liked the complex and were starting to feel at home there. It was bad enough that we just moved to the other side of the world, now we had to move houses again. I was worried about the boys (because I’m a mom and that’s what I do) and they were a little disappointed, too, but they didn’t seem nearly as traumatized as I thought they should be.
So we did some really fast house-hunting, some even faster negotiations, packed it up, and off we went. The move went very smoothly - this being the land of cheap labor, when they have any big job here (or even a small job), they just throw lots of people at it. The small army that was our moving team arrived at our old house at 9:30am and everything was unloaded into our new house by 2:30pm the same day.
Our new house is on the grounds of the Dong Jiao State Guest Hotel which is owned by the Chinese government. As the name would indicate, the hotel is host to many guests of the state and government officials. We’re told that the Chinese premiere stays here when he is in town, so there is lots of good security. Not that we can see the hotel from our house - it’s tucked away on the other side of the propery away from us riff-raff.
The grounds are beautiful with lakes and garden paths and lots of trees - all meticulously maintained by an army of workers who live in a dormitory on the property. I came back to the house after a walk the other day and I saw someone actually wiping down my mailbox post. There is also a HUGE sports and fitness center which both the hotel guests and the villa residents have access to. It is very swank and besides the lovely gym and Olympic-sized indoor pool, it has indoor tennis, bowling, badminton, snooker - you name it.
If I thought we were living in an expat bubble before, now I feel like we’ve actually left the country. The house is very American and after three and a half years abroad, I’m giddy over all the similarities to life back in the US. The house is only 2 stories which is a real treat after having to schlep up and down all the stairs in the other houses. The laundry room is on the first floor and is even inside the house! And the washer and dryer are huge! I think they are a pretty normal size for the US, but to me they look absolutely enormous. The oven is also big - Ian took a look the first day and declared that it was “turkey-sized”. I can actually fit in two cookie sheets at a time. You all at home are thinking “wow, she‘s really lost it”, but I feel so spoiled!
The biggest treat for the boys, though, is their new bunk bed - a right of passage for all boys, I think. They have been sleeping in separate rooms for about a year now, so I was a little surprised when they said they wanted to share a room, again. I obviously underestimated the appeal of the bunk bed. They have agreed to take turns sleeping in the top bunk and so far, so good.
There are lots of families here with kids around the boys ages, so it looks like they will have lots of playmates. There is one family that we already knew living here and they’ve all been making new friends, too. There’s a playground close to the house and there isn’t much traffic, so they are free to ride their bikes and skateboards around.
I’ve met several of the moms as well which is nice except for having to go through the whole ayi discussion again. Ayi is the Chinese word for “auntie” and in this instance, refers to a housekeeper. They can be part-time, full-time, or even live-in and virtually everyone has one - everyone except me, that is. I have various reasons for not wanting one, but it all really comes down to principles and it’s a hard stand to make when no one around you gets it. Frankly, I just don’t understand why every American (who, if they were lucky, maybe had a once a week cleaning lady back in the States - no cooking, no ironing) suddenly upon moving to China cannot live without domestic help.
Every time I meet someone new, it eventually comes up. “So did your ayi come with you?” I just say no, I don’t have one and try to leave it at that. But inevitably I get the puzzled look or they just ask out right “Why don’t you have one?” Sometimes I feel like firing back, “Well, why do you need one?” or if I’m really having a bad day, I’m thinking “Your kids are at school all day, you don’t work - are you too good to scrub a toilet once in a while? Don’t you realize how spoiled your kids are getting?” But if I did that I obviously would have no friends, so I’ve come up with my polite answer: “I love to cook, I really don’t mind cleaning, and I like my privacy”. That usually works, but they all still think I’m crazy.
So anyway, we are all happy in our new place and very relieved that the whole move is done. Now we can get back to regular life and look forward to more fun stuff. The weather is slowly warming up here and I, for one, am itching to get out and about to do some more exploring. Check back for more interesting entries this spring!
So we did some really fast house-hunting, some even faster negotiations, packed it up, and off we went. The move went very smoothly - this being the land of cheap labor, when they have any big job here (or even a small job), they just throw lots of people at it. The small army that was our moving team arrived at our old house at 9:30am and everything was unloaded into our new house by 2:30pm the same day.
Our new house is on the grounds of the Dong Jiao State Guest Hotel which is owned by the Chinese government. As the name would indicate, the hotel is host to many guests of the state and government officials. We’re told that the Chinese premiere stays here when he is in town, so there is lots of good security. Not that we can see the hotel from our house - it’s tucked away on the other side of the propery away from us riff-raff.
The grounds are beautiful with lakes and garden paths and lots of trees - all meticulously maintained by an army of workers who live in a dormitory on the property. I came back to the house after a walk the other day and I saw someone actually wiping down my mailbox post. There is also a HUGE sports and fitness center which both the hotel guests and the villa residents have access to. It is very swank and besides the lovely gym and Olympic-sized indoor pool, it has indoor tennis, bowling, badminton, snooker - you name it.
If I thought we were living in an expat bubble before, now I feel like we’ve actually left the country. The house is very American and after three and a half years abroad, I’m giddy over all the similarities to life back in the US. The house is only 2 stories which is a real treat after having to schlep up and down all the stairs in the other houses. The laundry room is on the first floor and is even inside the house! And the washer and dryer are huge! I think they are a pretty normal size for the US, but to me they look absolutely enormous. The oven is also big - Ian took a look the first day and declared that it was “turkey-sized”. I can actually fit in two cookie sheets at a time. You all at home are thinking “wow, she‘s really lost it”, but I feel so spoiled!
The biggest treat for the boys, though, is their new bunk bed - a right of passage for all boys, I think. They have been sleeping in separate rooms for about a year now, so I was a little surprised when they said they wanted to share a room, again. I obviously underestimated the appeal of the bunk bed. They have agreed to take turns sleeping in the top bunk and so far, so good.
There are lots of families here with kids around the boys ages, so it looks like they will have lots of playmates. There is one family that we already knew living here and they’ve all been making new friends, too. There’s a playground close to the house and there isn’t much traffic, so they are free to ride their bikes and skateboards around.
I’ve met several of the moms as well which is nice except for having to go through the whole ayi discussion again. Ayi is the Chinese word for “auntie” and in this instance, refers to a housekeeper. They can be part-time, full-time, or even live-in and virtually everyone has one - everyone except me, that is. I have various reasons for not wanting one, but it all really comes down to principles and it’s a hard stand to make when no one around you gets it. Frankly, I just don’t understand why every American (who, if they were lucky, maybe had a once a week cleaning lady back in the States - no cooking, no ironing) suddenly upon moving to China cannot live without domestic help.
Every time I meet someone new, it eventually comes up. “So did your ayi come with you?” I just say no, I don’t have one and try to leave it at that. But inevitably I get the puzzled look or they just ask out right “Why don’t you have one?” Sometimes I feel like firing back, “Well, why do you need one?” or if I’m really having a bad day, I’m thinking “Your kids are at school all day, you don’t work - are you too good to scrub a toilet once in a while? Don’t you realize how spoiled your kids are getting?” But if I did that I obviously would have no friends, so I’ve come up with my polite answer: “I love to cook, I really don’t mind cleaning, and I like my privacy”. That usually works, but they all still think I’m crazy.
So anyway, we are all happy in our new place and very relieved that the whole move is done. Now we can get back to regular life and look forward to more fun stuff. The weather is slowly warming up here and I, for one, am itching to get out and about to do some more exploring. Check back for more interesting entries this spring!
Monday, February 16, 2009
Chinglish
Let me start by saying I’m no linguistic expert and I don’t feel that I have any facility with languages. In school I always did well and I enjoyed a lot of my classes, but there is something about learning a foreign language which, although fun and interesting, is particularly head ache-inducing. So after three years of working on my Spanish and only getting to a “survival” level of proficiency, I was not exactly looking forward to having to start a whole new language. But here I am in China and it seems just silly not to try.
Learning Chinese is very different than learning any European language. There’s the obvious problem of the alphabet vs. Chinese characters, but let’s not even go there. So far I’ve learned 2 Chinese characters - needless to say we don’t spend any time on that in class. Luckily for me, a long time ago some Western settler in China decided to develop a “translation” of the Chinese words into our alphabet. This became known as “pinyin” and although infinitely easier that learning by characters or just by ear, it still is not purely phonetic. You still have to learn how to pronounce each letter combination of which there are 24 vowels sounds and 23 consonants. Sounds like a lot, but a lot of them sound the same to me.
The next big hurdle are the tones. The tone is the inflection that you give to the vowel and there are four different ones: starting low and lilting up, starting high and going down, going down and them up, or just a flat, even tone. It’s what gives Chinese that kind of sing-song quality. It’s hard to explain in writing, but hopefully you get the idea. So basically for every vowel sound (remember, there are 24 of them!), there are four different tones for a grand total of 96!
So you can have two words that are spelled the same, but because of the tones are pronounced differently and have two totally different meanings. This is tricky and can get you into a lot of trouble. Memorizing what tone to use with each word is hard enough, but I also find it difficult to speak it correctly. After spending time with lots of people from all over the world, I’ve come to realize that Americans speak in kind of a monotone. We are not big on enunciation, use little or no inflection, and as a result, I almost feel embarrassed when I try to make those sounds. Strange to say, but it just feels weird and holds me back from using the language more.
But it’s not all bad news. Aside from the tedium of the pronunciations, Chinese is a very efficient, straight-forward language. Anyone who has ever tried to learn another language should appreciate this one: NO VERB CONJUGATION! I almost jumped up and cheered when I heard that one. The verb is always the same no matter who the subject or even what tense. Love it! Pronouns are always the same, too. None of this I/me, he/him. In fact, they don’t even have a separate “he” and “she”, it’s just the gender neutral pronoun “ta”. So of course there’s none of that feminine/masculine crap I had to learn in French and Spanish. Hooray!
I’ve just started my second session of classes and feeling a little more familiar with the language though I’m really not even up to “survival” level yet. My big problem is I don’t have anyone to practice with. The kids are no help and Russ is still working on counting up to ten. The only other person around is my driver, so I’ve been using my Chinese with him when I feel like it. He’s very good about not laughing at me (not too much anyway). But he’s a real quiet guy and there’s not much to talk about - his English is about as good as my Chinese so we can’t really chat. “Chatting” is a level well past “survival”. But I guess I must be getting better because one day he looked back at me and asked me a question in Chinese. My immediate reaction was “Oh, crap” because speaking Chinese is hard enough, listening and understanding it is still impossible. That shut me up for a while.
Even though I don’t expect to improve much, I do enjoy going to the classes. We very often get side-tracked into cultural discussions in which our teacher fills us in on fascinating tidbits about Chinese life and we can ask questions like “Why is it so hard to get a cold beverage in China?”(they believe cold drinks are bad for digestion) and “What’s up with all the spitting?”
So I’ll keep plugging away and hope we don’t move to Botswana next because this is it for me and languages - I mean it this time….
Learning Chinese is very different than learning any European language. There’s the obvious problem of the alphabet vs. Chinese characters, but let’s not even go there. So far I’ve learned 2 Chinese characters - needless to say we don’t spend any time on that in class. Luckily for me, a long time ago some Western settler in China decided to develop a “translation” of the Chinese words into our alphabet. This became known as “pinyin” and although infinitely easier that learning by characters or just by ear, it still is not purely phonetic. You still have to learn how to pronounce each letter combination of which there are 24 vowels sounds and 23 consonants. Sounds like a lot, but a lot of them sound the same to me.
The next big hurdle are the tones. The tone is the inflection that you give to the vowel and there are four different ones: starting low and lilting up, starting high and going down, going down and them up, or just a flat, even tone. It’s what gives Chinese that kind of sing-song quality. It’s hard to explain in writing, but hopefully you get the idea. So basically for every vowel sound (remember, there are 24 of them!), there are four different tones for a grand total of 96!
So you can have two words that are spelled the same, but because of the tones are pronounced differently and have two totally different meanings. This is tricky and can get you into a lot of trouble. Memorizing what tone to use with each word is hard enough, but I also find it difficult to speak it correctly. After spending time with lots of people from all over the world, I’ve come to realize that Americans speak in kind of a monotone. We are not big on enunciation, use little or no inflection, and as a result, I almost feel embarrassed when I try to make those sounds. Strange to say, but it just feels weird and holds me back from using the language more.
But it’s not all bad news. Aside from the tedium of the pronunciations, Chinese is a very efficient, straight-forward language. Anyone who has ever tried to learn another language should appreciate this one: NO VERB CONJUGATION! I almost jumped up and cheered when I heard that one. The verb is always the same no matter who the subject or even what tense. Love it! Pronouns are always the same, too. None of this I/me, he/him. In fact, they don’t even have a separate “he” and “she”, it’s just the gender neutral pronoun “ta”. So of course there’s none of that feminine/masculine crap I had to learn in French and Spanish. Hooray!
I’ve just started my second session of classes and feeling a little more familiar with the language though I’m really not even up to “survival” level yet. My big problem is I don’t have anyone to practice with. The kids are no help and Russ is still working on counting up to ten. The only other person around is my driver, so I’ve been using my Chinese with him when I feel like it. He’s very good about not laughing at me (not too much anyway). But he’s a real quiet guy and there’s not much to talk about - his English is about as good as my Chinese so we can’t really chat. “Chatting” is a level well past “survival”. But I guess I must be getting better because one day he looked back at me and asked me a question in Chinese. My immediate reaction was “Oh, crap” because speaking Chinese is hard enough, listening and understanding it is still impossible. That shut me up for a while.
Even though I don’t expect to improve much, I do enjoy going to the classes. We very often get side-tracked into cultural discussions in which our teacher fills us in on fascinating tidbits about Chinese life and we can ask questions like “Why is it so hard to get a cold beverage in China?”(they believe cold drinks are bad for digestion) and “What’s up with all the spitting?”
So I’ll keep plugging away and hope we don’t move to Botswana next because this is it for me and languages - I mean it this time….
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Happy Chinese New Year!
Well, our New Year celebration is long over, but the Chinese are just gearing up for their biggest festival of the year. Just as Americans would consider Christmas our number one holiday with it being not just one day but an entire season, the Chinese have the lunar New Year (also called Spring Festival). The official New Year's day is January 26th this year, but as the date gets closer we hear fireworks pretty much every night and firecrackers during the day. The stores are packed with shoppers buying gifts, candy, and cleaning products (it is tradition to do a thorough house-cleaning before the holiday).
The celebrations start on the day of the first new moon of the new year when families come together to share a meal. This is also the biggest travel holiday in China. For many of the migrant workers who come to find work in the cities, it is the only time all year that they get to go back to the countryside to see their families. It all ends 15 days later with the full moon when they have a lantern festival with children carrying lanterns in a parade. All the days in between are designated for visits to various family members, friends, and temples to pray for good fortune and health in the coming year.
On December 26th all the Christmas decorations disappeared from town being replaced by red and gold banners, blooming azaleas (to represent rebirth and new growth), potted tangerine trees (a symbol of abundant happiness), and fish made out of embroidered red silk hung on front doors (see photo above). The Chinese word for fish (yu) is similar to the word for abundance so it symbolizes the hope for prosperity and many blessings in the coming year.
As with all holiday celebrations all over the world, food plays an important role in the festivities. For the Chinese, many of the foods selected are representative of various wishes for the new year: whole fish for togetherness and abundance, a whole chicken (with head and feet) for completeness, dried bean curd which is a homonym for wealth and happiness, etc. Noodles are prepared and eaten without breaking them to ensure long life. Dumplings, although a pretty typical meal any day of the year, are also eaten duing this holiday as dumplings are shaped to look like the ancient Chinese coins.
I may complain about Christmas being so commercial in the US, but it seems to me that in the Chinese customs, there is a lot of talk about money. Sure, I suppose "prosperity" could refer to non-material wealth as well - but there is plenty of mention of cold, hard cash. For the kids on Chinese New Year, their parents and relatives hand out red envelopes with money called hong bao.
I mentioned the cleaning before. One of the reasons to get all of your cleaning done before New Year's day is because it is unlucky to sweep for the first 5 days of the celebrations - the superstition being that you will sweep all of your good luck for the new year out the door. On New Year's day there is also to be no disparaging words or bad language and definitely no talk of death. There is also a belief that if you cry on new year's day, you will cry all year so the kids can get away with a lot of mischief since their parents don't want to scold them and risk making them cry. Hmmm...some cash and trouble-making with impunity vs. Santa Claus...it's a tough call.
This year is the year of the Ox, so any babies born this year are expected to be generally calm, patient, and hardworking. But on the down side they can also be stubborn and narrow-minded. Probably not a bad year to have a kid. You are an ox if you were born in 1949, 1961, 1973, 1985, or 1997.
So Happy Lunar New Year everyone! Hope it's a prosperous one!
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Culture Shock
Since moving to Shanghai six months ago, it’s been a whirlwind of getting settled: meeting new people, navigating the grocery stores, dealing with a new house and new school. So I haven’t had much time to really focus on this new culture I’ve been dropped into until now. There is something about this move that feels different than the move to Spain. I guess even though Spain was a different country, its culture was still closer to American than here in China. Asia is just a whole different ball game.
Of course there are the obvious things: the food, the language, the smells! But we have our rather large expat bubble in which to live our day-to-day. Lots of American food, restaurants, English-language books and services (much more than in Spain). We live in a resort-like neighborhood with lots of perks we never had at home. In so many ways we are actually pretty spoiled here and yet somehow it just feels different and it wasn’t always clear why until I got to take a step back and look at it from a distance.
We went away to Hong Kong over the Christmas break. Before our trip, whenever I told someone where we were going, they would sigh and say, “Oh, you’ll love Hong Kong.” This kind of surprised me because I always thought of Hong Kong as a big, crowded concrete jungle (I’m not much of a city person). And it is still China, after all, how refreshing could it be?
Well first off, it was more of a mix of Chinese and western cultures. Our perfectly lovely hotel was on “Dried Seafood Street” and stunk as much as any street corner in downtown Shanghai. On Lantau Island, not 200 yards from the remote Po Lin monastery (right under the giant Buddha) was a 7-Eleven convenience store. At Ocean Park we went to a stand where you could buy either a sno-cone or fried squid legs (the squid legs were far more popular, by the way).
But the thing that struck me, and I believe what appealed to my fellow expats, was that it was just so….civilized. People smiled and said please and thank you. They held open doors and never pushed or cut in line. There is a general courtesy and orderliness which is sorely lacking in the rest of the country.
It is actually hard for me to say this because I have always considered myself to be very respectful of other cultures and I hate to generalize. I try to put aside my own upbringing and look at life from someone else’s point of view. And China has had a rough time of it. A misguided and corrupt communist rule and the whole Cultural Revolution has certainly left its scars and led to a mentality of every man for himself. Yes, the country has had unprecedented economic growth in recent years, but old habits die hard.
So let’s not call this a criticism of the Chinese people, merely an observation. I think the best way to describe it is a basic lack of manners. It’s not that they are intentionally trying to be rude when they nose around in my grocery cart while waiting in the check-out line, or stare right at my face for an uncomfortably long time. Hacking and spitting in the street is perfectly acceptable (watch where you step!) as is shouting at perfect strangers in public over minor disputes.
There is a general lack of respect for any kind of order (as I said, it’s every man for himself) and with so many people, the end result is chaos. In the produce section of the grocery store you have to go to a station in the middle to weigh your purchases before going to the checkout. Well, of course, no one waits in a line, so you just have to shove your way in with the rest of them because if you try to wait your turn, you will never get served. More than once I have just dropped by bag of apples on the counter and walked away because it just got so bad and I couldn’t deal with the yelling and pushing.
The driving is also a good example. The rule of the road seems to be “if I can get there first, than I have the right of way”. Doesn’t matter who is supposed to yield, as long as you think the other driver can slam on his brakes and stop fast enough to avoid an accident, then you get to go first. And if you are a pedestrian, don’t step out into a crosswalk thinking the cars will stop for you because, believe me, they won’t.
It’s really interesting to see a culture that evolved completely separately from our own, to see that even though human nature may be the same, it can develop in a completely different direction. But interesting or not, some days it can be very exhausting, so I head back to my bubble for a while, rest up, and do it again another day.
Of course there are the obvious things: the food, the language, the smells! But we have our rather large expat bubble in which to live our day-to-day. Lots of American food, restaurants, English-language books and services (much more than in Spain). We live in a resort-like neighborhood with lots of perks we never had at home. In so many ways we are actually pretty spoiled here and yet somehow it just feels different and it wasn’t always clear why until I got to take a step back and look at it from a distance.
We went away to Hong Kong over the Christmas break. Before our trip, whenever I told someone where we were going, they would sigh and say, “Oh, you’ll love Hong Kong.” This kind of surprised me because I always thought of Hong Kong as a big, crowded concrete jungle (I’m not much of a city person). And it is still China, after all, how refreshing could it be?
Well first off, it was more of a mix of Chinese and western cultures. Our perfectly lovely hotel was on “Dried Seafood Street” and stunk as much as any street corner in downtown Shanghai. On Lantau Island, not 200 yards from the remote Po Lin monastery (right under the giant Buddha) was a 7-Eleven convenience store. At Ocean Park we went to a stand where you could buy either a sno-cone or fried squid legs (the squid legs were far more popular, by the way).
But the thing that struck me, and I believe what appealed to my fellow expats, was that it was just so….civilized. People smiled and said please and thank you. They held open doors and never pushed or cut in line. There is a general courtesy and orderliness which is sorely lacking in the rest of the country.
It is actually hard for me to say this because I have always considered myself to be very respectful of other cultures and I hate to generalize. I try to put aside my own upbringing and look at life from someone else’s point of view. And China has had a rough time of it. A misguided and corrupt communist rule and the whole Cultural Revolution has certainly left its scars and led to a mentality of every man for himself. Yes, the country has had unprecedented economic growth in recent years, but old habits die hard.
So let’s not call this a criticism of the Chinese people, merely an observation. I think the best way to describe it is a basic lack of manners. It’s not that they are intentionally trying to be rude when they nose around in my grocery cart while waiting in the check-out line, or stare right at my face for an uncomfortably long time. Hacking and spitting in the street is perfectly acceptable (watch where you step!) as is shouting at perfect strangers in public over minor disputes.
There is a general lack of respect for any kind of order (as I said, it’s every man for himself) and with so many people, the end result is chaos. In the produce section of the grocery store you have to go to a station in the middle to weigh your purchases before going to the checkout. Well, of course, no one waits in a line, so you just have to shove your way in with the rest of them because if you try to wait your turn, you will never get served. More than once I have just dropped by bag of apples on the counter and walked away because it just got so bad and I couldn’t deal with the yelling and pushing.
The driving is also a good example. The rule of the road seems to be “if I can get there first, than I have the right of way”. Doesn’t matter who is supposed to yield, as long as you think the other driver can slam on his brakes and stop fast enough to avoid an accident, then you get to go first. And if you are a pedestrian, don’t step out into a crosswalk thinking the cars will stop for you because, believe me, they won’t.
It’s really interesting to see a culture that evolved completely separately from our own, to see that even though human nature may be the same, it can develop in a completely different direction. But interesting or not, some days it can be very exhausting, so I head back to my bubble for a while, rest up, and do it again another day.
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Third Culture Kids
I know I spend a lot of time talking about my observations of our host countries and my own experiences abroad, but I'm sure a lot of you are wondering, "How about the kids? She hardly ever talks about the kids!" Well, fear not, they are doing fine. But I thought I would expound on that a little since they are what some experts define as "Third Culture Kids", meaning they are being raised in a culture different than the one in which their parents were raised.
I remember back in Madrid a couple of years ago, I was sitting in one of those boring school orientation meetings and the principal recommended we all read a book called "Raising Global Nomads". "Because that's what you are all doing," she said, "You are raising global nomads." And I thought to myself, "No I'm not - we are doing one little stint here in Spain and then it's back home forever." So I certainly did not need any stinking books.
Well, here we are on our second assignment (and third continent) so I guess I can no longer deny that our lives are a bit out of the ordinary. Mostly they are very normal American kids - they have playdates and sleep-overs, they ride their bikes, go to Cub Scouts, watch cartoons. Yet every once in a while there are these moments, which are both strange and cool, when I realize they are not completely normal.
Sometimes it is something the kids say - and not what they say, but how they say it. It is not so unusual for Ian to make a sentence mixing 2 or 3 different languages. Since they are just starting to learn Chinese, he'll start out in Chinese, and when he hits a word he doesn't know, he'll say it in Spanish. We have some very surreal dinner conversations.
Tim has been somewhat resistent to learning other languages, so in his case he is influenced by the foreign English speakers, the British and Australians. He uses words like "quite", "indeed", and "properly" a little too often for a 6 year old. I hope it doesn't get him beat up back in the States.
Then there's the TV. Back in Spain, they were always walking around quoting their favorite Spanish commercials and here in Shanghai, for some reason Tim gets really annoyed with all the travel ads on CNN ("Not Malaysia again!"). Here we get a satellite feed out of the Philippines which has tons of US programming (more than we had in Spain, even) so they are watching a lot of the same cartoons they would watch in the States. But I had to laugh when, back in October, in between episodes of SpongeBob and Fairly Odd Parents, Nickolodean ran a segment called "How to Survive Ramadan" with the tagline "It's cool to fast!".
We constantly tell the kids that this is not a normal life and how very lucky and priviledged we are to have this experience. I do try to keep it real. I don't have a housekeeper like virtually all of the other expats do. The boys have to do chores and homework like we all had to do growing up. Then one day we were giving a ride home to Timmy's best friend (the most adorable little Japanese boy), who says something like, "If we had a race, my driver could beat your driver!" I had a sudden urge to go home and make them scrub toilets.
There are definitely times where I have to just give in to the fact that no matter what I do, these kids are being raised in a different environment that I was and there is only so much you can do - especially when they start to know more than you do. I make Ian present his homework to me every night to be checked. I was doing okay with the Chinese homework because I have been taking classes, too, and Ian usually just has to do some translation or draw pictures. Until one night when I look in the workbook to see an entire paragraph of just Chinese characters. I immediately closed the book, handed it back, and said "Looks good to me."
Although they are doing well and seem perfectly happy and well-adjusted, they are well aware that this is only temporary and they do look forward to being settled somewhere. Ian defintely wants to be back in America with family and our own house. I think Tim just wants to live any place where they only speak English and you get enough snow "to make a proper snowman" in the winter. I only hope that in the years to come when this is all a distant memory, they look back on this time and remember it fondly. By the way, I never did read that book.
I remember back in Madrid a couple of years ago, I was sitting in one of those boring school orientation meetings and the principal recommended we all read a book called "Raising Global Nomads". "Because that's what you are all doing," she said, "You are raising global nomads." And I thought to myself, "No I'm not - we are doing one little stint here in Spain and then it's back home forever." So I certainly did not need any stinking books.
Well, here we are on our second assignment (and third continent) so I guess I can no longer deny that our lives are a bit out of the ordinary. Mostly they are very normal American kids - they have playdates and sleep-overs, they ride their bikes, go to Cub Scouts, watch cartoons. Yet every once in a while there are these moments, which are both strange and cool, when I realize they are not completely normal.
Sometimes it is something the kids say - and not what they say, but how they say it. It is not so unusual for Ian to make a sentence mixing 2 or 3 different languages. Since they are just starting to learn Chinese, he'll start out in Chinese, and when he hits a word he doesn't know, he'll say it in Spanish. We have some very surreal dinner conversations.
Tim has been somewhat resistent to learning other languages, so in his case he is influenced by the foreign English speakers, the British and Australians. He uses words like "quite", "indeed", and "properly" a little too often for a 6 year old. I hope it doesn't get him beat up back in the States.
Then there's the TV. Back in Spain, they were always walking around quoting their favorite Spanish commercials and here in Shanghai, for some reason Tim gets really annoyed with all the travel ads on CNN ("Not Malaysia again!"). Here we get a satellite feed out of the Philippines which has tons of US programming (more than we had in Spain, even) so they are watching a lot of the same cartoons they would watch in the States. But I had to laugh when, back in October, in between episodes of SpongeBob and Fairly Odd Parents, Nickolodean ran a segment called "How to Survive Ramadan" with the tagline "It's cool to fast!".
We constantly tell the kids that this is not a normal life and how very lucky and priviledged we are to have this experience. I do try to keep it real. I don't have a housekeeper like virtually all of the other expats do. The boys have to do chores and homework like we all had to do growing up. Then one day we were giving a ride home to Timmy's best friend (the most adorable little Japanese boy), who says something like, "If we had a race, my driver could beat your driver!" I had a sudden urge to go home and make them scrub toilets.
There are definitely times where I have to just give in to the fact that no matter what I do, these kids are being raised in a different environment that I was and there is only so much you can do - especially when they start to know more than you do. I make Ian present his homework to me every night to be checked. I was doing okay with the Chinese homework because I have been taking classes, too, and Ian usually just has to do some translation or draw pictures. Until one night when I look in the workbook to see an entire paragraph of just Chinese characters. I immediately closed the book, handed it back, and said "Looks good to me."
Although they are doing well and seem perfectly happy and well-adjusted, they are well aware that this is only temporary and they do look forward to being settled somewhere. Ian defintely wants to be back in America with family and our own house. I think Tim just wants to live any place where they only speak English and you get enough snow "to make a proper snowman" in the winter. I only hope that in the years to come when this is all a distant memory, they look back on this time and remember it fondly. By the way, I never did read that book.
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